iPhone rant

[yesthattom]

The iPhone web browser sucks. Yes... I said it. It is supposed to be the best in the world, but the Treo browser is better because it tells every web site, "Hi! I'm a bad browser on a slow connection" and the web sites send it minimal graphics, the CSS switches to "ugly" mode, and while the web pages don't look great, you can freakin' read them... which is the point! The iPhone tells web servers, "I'm a freakin' Macintosh, please send me all the graphics you can!"

Worst of all, the iPhone web browser basically doesn't cache anything. It caches the last 19 items that were less than 25k. TWENTY FIVE KILOBYES? That's less than half a megabyte (max) of objects so small they hardly matter. This thing has 8G of storage... even the Treo caches the last 8M of stuff!

Worst of all, when you go away from the web browser it forgets everything. I am used to pre-loading 5-6 web pages from my fast home connection then walking out the door to the train and even when I'm in tunnels I can switch among them. Heck, with an 8M cache I can basically pre-load enough reading for my entire train ride. Plus, the Treo lets me save "frozen" HTML pages so that I can come back to them even if I have no connectivity.

Plus, AT&T's network has terrible coverage compared to Verizon... which works in the NJ transit tunnels in and out of NYC (and soon... in the subways too!). I wasn't going to write about this because, well, it isn't Apple's fault. However, it dawned on me that since Apple gave AT&T a 5-year exclusive, it is completely valid to complain about it. Does nobody on the iPhone team ride BART or does AT&T have service down there? They should be forced to ride the NYC subway to see how bad it is.

It was so bad this morning that I came up with this plan....


I propose that I apply for a patent on the concept of caching. Not just caching web pages, but on all of caching. When I get the patent, I will then sue Apple for patent violation.

When it goes to court, I'll start by making my claim that I invented the concept of caching.

Apple will then stand up and claim that I am wrong because "anyone beyond a 1st year computer science student knows about the benefits of caching".

At that point, I will leap up over the court-room bench (like crazy people always seem to be able to do in Hollywood films), land on the Apple lawyer, and beat him to death with an iPhone while screaming, "OH YEAH??? THEN WHY THE HELL DOESN'T YOUR DAMN IPHONE DO ANY KIND OF REALISTIC CACHING, MOTHERF***ER!"

At that point, the police will arrest me. I will be tried for murder and sent to jail.

In jail as I am being painfully ass-raped without lube I will think to myself, "ah yes, this is so much more preferable than having to deal with that frustrating iPhone web browser."

What do you think?

-*the end*-


(Ok, I normally don't go for violent humor, or anal-sex-is-funny humor, or gay-sexual-assault-is-funny humor.. especially since I dislike violence and love anal sex... but I thought of the above while on the train the other day and couldn't resist sharing it)

Comments

[subwayfaire.livejournal.com]

You know, I'm told that SJ read every customer e-mail he gets. You could send him a link to your LJ. :)

Is yer woman disliking the iPhone as sorely as you, or is she ok with it?

[awfief.livejournal.com]

What I don't understand is why it's on the Edge network...my Samsung Blackjack is way better because it's on the 3G network!

[dr-memory.livejournal.com]

Looking at the map of AT&T's EDGE coverage versus their 3G coverage explains a lot. (And note that their current 3G coverage is the result of 2+ years of frenzied build-out: 13 months ago when the iphone shipped, matters were even worse.)

[yesthattom.livejournal.com]

She loves it as far as I know.

As far as contacting SJ, I'd have to tone it down first. However, the post is unlocked in case someone at Apple happened upon it.

[dr-memory.livejournal.com]

The NYC coverage issue is one of the big reasons that I still haven't taken the plunge on an iPhone. I remember all-too-clearly what it was like to try to use a GSM phone at 40th & Bway, and have no intention of ever repeating the experience.

[hcoyote.livejournal.com]

3G apparently would have been a heavy drain on the battery life for the first gen iphone. Or so I've heard on a rumor somewhere on the intarweb.

[la-directora.livejournal.com]

I've been using an iPhone in NYC for about a month and a half now, and haven't had any connectivity issues. Anywhere I had coverage with my Verizon Treo, I've got coverage with my iPhone. I haven't had any complaints on that issue.

[awfief.livejournal.com]

According to the "3G coverage" page you link to (and my actual experience):

All 3G compatible devices are also EDGE compatible providing the best combination of speed and coverage

So that's irrelevant. Another commenter mentions drain on battery life, but that would be really sad if true, because Macs are known pigs and this is a problem that has plagued Apple products for over 5 years.

[dr-memory.livejournal.com]

I think you misunderstood my point: given the iphone's legendarily compressed development schedule, I'm suggesting that they decided not to spend time engineering the 1.0 product to work with a network that, at ship time, barely existed. It's not necessarily the tradeoff I would have made if I'd been the product manager, but it's a defensible one. (Not to mention that a 3G chipset and radio would have made an already pricey phone even more expensive.)

Battery life probably also played a part in it, although I'm mystified why you think that the power consumption of Apple's non-phone products is relevant: it's not like Apple (or Nokia, or Motorola) can do much other than ask nicely for Broadcom, Infineon and Qualcomm to bring their radios' power consumption down.

[dr-memory.livejournal.com]

Well, take my experience with a grain of salt: it's been 2 years now since I lived in NYC, so it's very possible that AT&T and T-Mobile have fixed their networks. In 2005 at least, T-Mobile got exactly zero signal into my office in midtown, prompting a hasty flight to Verizon on my part.

[agent_dani]

I find their decision to lump EDGE and GPRS coverage areas together, separating only 3G, to be curious. A number of friends have been disappointed with the results because they believed it meant EDGE was nearly ubiquitous in my region when it was actually limited an area similar to the 3g coverage.

[perspicuity.livejournal.com]

on several camping trips, including baitcon, the iphone performed in the wood admirably. at a north vermont trip, it was the only carrier that was reliable. people borrowed my phone to make critical calls. edge was good enough to post to LJ.

yah, the caching can be trifling annoying, but that's software, and easily fixed if they want to. perhaps they have good reasons for not doing it.

3rd party apps are coming, and with that, other browsers, and extensions, and stuff.

i find it amusing people put the iphone down for the eDGE thing; it's plenty fast. in some cases it's FASTER than wifi. don't know why. whine whine whine. then Kindle, with EVDO/3G, people are screaming it's not fast enough again. omg. what's it going to take people? :) in a year, 3G and 32 GB iphones shouldn't be impossible. i might even upgrade :>

there's a few things i'd like iphone to do, but they're software addons and tweaks. the hardware is pretty amazing i think. same resolution as a palm tx, but you'd not think that.

shiny

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[hawkwind2000.livejournal.com]

Does hte iPhone not talk to ANY other network? I've been a CellularOne Cingular ATT user since 1997, having never switched carriers, and I have no problems getting signal in the Holland or anywhere I've been in Manhattan, Queens, and Brooklyn. (Not sure I've been in SI or da bronix since I got a phone...) Only place I get diminished signal is a certain basement club on 26th street...

[dieppe.livejournal.com]

Caching...

It's not in AT&T's best interest for you to cache in your web browser while using your iPhone... not when they charge you per kilobyte.. think about it. ;)

[yesthattom.livejournal.com]

All iPhones have an unlimited data plan. It's in their interest to cache as much as possible.

[dieppe.livejournal.com]

Isn't it possible to NOT get that unlimited data plan though? So this is just another thing to encourage such behaviour.. and of course woe to anyone who happens to use it internationally.. o.O

[yesthattom.livejournal.com]

Just unlimited data. No other options for iphone users.