yesthattom: (Default)
Today at 9:53am I parked my car at the Elizabeth, NJ train station so that C and I could go into NYC to see Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. (It was fantastic, by the way.) I had locked my laptop bag (which includes my laptop, my iPod, and my datebook/organizer) as well as my overnight bag in the trunk. I was careful not to leave anything obviously valuable in the car seats, except a bunch of messy papers and a candy bar. Anyway, when we got back to the train station the driver’s side door was ajar. Oh wait, it isn’t ajar, it’s bent back as if someone had broke into the car. F**K!

Inside the car my cell phone was sitting on the seat where I had left it (by mistake), but the candy bar wasn’t taken. Of course, if you can get into the car you can get into the trunk. So I popped the trunk and...

My laptop bag was stolen.

I didn’t panic too much... I’m about to start a new job and they’ll be providing me a new laptop. My data is backuped to an external Firewire/USB drive. Even though the backup is about 4 weeks old, being between jobs means there wasn’t much “new” data there. Plus, anything important I do is on a server. Considering everything I had lost, I was rather calm.

We reported the theft to the guys running the parking lot, but they weren’t helpful. In fact, they said that if I reported it to their management nothing would happen so there’s no reason to do it. They let me use their phone to call the police, who told me to drive 4 blocks to the station to make the report in person.

I gave the police my report and when I was done my cell phone rang. It was someone named “Victor” saying that he found my laptop and was wondering how we could meet so I could get it back. ***unbelievable***

The guy found it about a block from the parking lot!

I didn’t ask him about the contents of the bag, figuring it was best to see what was there when I got to his place. I assumed that the iPod was gone, since that’s easiest to pawn. The Mac Powerbook would be a little more difficult to pawn, so it seemed to make sense that it was still there. The datebook/organizers is a leather-bound paper holder, worthless to anyone but me. So I assumed that would be in the bag.

The guy was a young, friendly guy who is the super at an apartment building in town. He gave me the bag and it contained my laptop, my iPod but NO DATEBOOK!

Since I’m between jobs and since I’ve just started a new year of filler paper my datebook had very data in it. My “todo” list is very small, and my dates are, well, the three speaking gigs that are on No big deal.

But why would some crackhead[1] steal the datebook? Has he gotten in trouble for missing appointments with his dealer? WTF? WTFF?

But who cares about the dateboo! The laptop and iPod are safe. That’s just a freakin’ miracle. And I’m very grateful. In fact, I gave the guy that found it a bunch of cash as a reward.

So now I’m at C’s place and we’re drinking egg nog and celebrating. It’s going to cost me an arm and a leg to get the car door repaired, but all-in-all, this was a very good day.

And this is all just further proof that I am a brain in a vat attached to the happiest VR simulation ever made.


[1] I dislike when people assume anything stolen was “some crackhead” however Elizabeth, NJ was spotlighted during the 1980’s “crack” media blitz as being a town where crack is “being sold on every corner”; and everyone ELSE I talked to has used that term.
yesthattom: (Default)
Funniest Sketch in a while. Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell rap about their “Lazy Sunday” which includes going to see the movie “CHRONIC...(WHAT?)..CLES” OF NARNIA and buying cupcakes.

Everyone except [ profile] drwex can watch it for free on the iTunes music store: link

Or a million other sites that are providing low-quality downloads for free. Even NBC’s web site.

Yo wheres the movie playing? Upper West Side dude!
Let’s hit up Yahoo maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Mapquest! That’s a good one too.
Google Maps is the best! True that! Double true!
Click for full lyrics.
yesthattom: (Default)
Three great reasons to love LJ:
  1. New Jersey Party Sluts -- -- This LJ'er details her very active sex life, which mostly involves her getting high, then fucking, then writing about it on LJ. Fun to read. This post is the start of a series of posts when her new job is going to require her to take a drug test. She actually gives up pot for a few days and its a stretch. Does she pass? Read and find out! Favorite quote: "Mike picked up a bottle of drug detox in NYC today (since it's illegal in NJ)"
  2. Tennessee, 15 year old tarts -- -- This young girl chronicals her love of drinking and her fear of being a virgin forever. Favorite quote about herself and her best friend: "we're concerned about the existence of our virginity. we're out to get laid." Wait, here's a better quote: "We check out girls more often than we do guys. and not in the girly way, either. we assess fuckability". Even better: bisexual Tennessee 15 year old tarts!
  3. I fuck my boss... Film at 11! -- -- Let's see. She's having an affair with her married boss. She's completely sexy. They take pictures and videos of them fucking and she posts them to her LJ. This wins the prize. Best quote is from after not posting for a few days because she was on a "business trip" with her boss: " I'm Back! OMG!! What an awesome week! I will fill you guys in on all the details later including ALOT of pics we took! Oh! And I am now officially a "Porn Star" heheh!" The pictures are HOT
These are my favorite LJ'ers. Who are yours?
yesthattom: (2003extreme)
I updated my profile today. I realized that I hadn't done it since I created my LJ. After looking at a lot of profiles this week, I really wish someone would declare a yearly "Update Your Damn Profile Day" to remind people to update their profiles. It's easy. You go to this link and then write personal stuff about yourself. :-)

I think I'll do it for my YIM profile while I'm at it.

Should this become a MEME?
yesthattom: (2000formal)
In a few days everyone freak on Live Journal is going to post why they hate Valentines Day, or why they love Valentines Day, or what they did with their partner or partners on Valentines Day.

Instead, I offer this preemtive tip:

Surprise your lover with The 12-Second Kiss

Add romance with this most simple technique. The next time you kiss your SO, kiss for a full 12 seconds. I don't mean 12 seconds of smooching, I mean one single kiss that lasts 12 seconds. Actually count. After 2-3 seconds your SO will register a lot of surprise, don't let them disengage. Keep is up.... 10... 11.. 12. Ahhhh.

For best results, do this the next time you are giving them a quick kiss goodbye or hello. Don't wait for some special romantic situation.

Post your results in a reply to this message. I'd love to hear if it worked for you as well as it worked for me.

(Note: I got this from an interview on NPR with a "romance expert" a while back.)

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