iPhone rant
Feb. 29th, 2008 03:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yesthattomThe iPhone web browser sucks. Yes... I said it. It is supposed to be the best in the world, but the Treo browser is better because it tells every web site, "Hi! I'm a bad browser on a slow connection" and the web sites send it minimal graphics, the CSS switches to "ugly" mode, and while the web pages don't look great, you can freakin' read them... which is the point! The iPhone tells web servers, "I'm a freakin' Macintosh, please send me all the graphics you can!"
Worst of all, the iPhone web browser basically doesn't cache anything. It caches the last 19 items that were less than 25k. TWENTY FIVE KILOBYES? That's less than half a megabyte (max) of objects so small they hardly matter. This thing has 8G of storage... even the Treo caches the last 8M of stuff!
Worst of all, when you go away from the web browser it forgets everything. I am used to pre-loading 5-6 web pages from my fast home connection then walking out the door to the train and even when I'm in tunnels I can switch among them. Heck, with an 8M cache I can basically pre-load enough reading for my entire train ride. Plus, the Treo lets me save "frozen" HTML pages so that I can come back to them even if I have no connectivity.
Plus, AT&T's network has terrible coverage compared to Verizon... which works in the NJ transit tunnels in and out of NYC (and soon... in the subways too!). I wasn't going to write about this because, well, it isn't Apple's fault. However, it dawned on me that since Apple gave AT&T a 5-year exclusive, it is completely valid to complain about it. Does nobody on the iPhone team ride BART or does AT&T have service down there? They should be forced to ride the NYC subway to see how bad it is.
It was so bad this morning that I came up with this plan....
I propose that I apply for a patent on the concept of caching. Not just caching web pages, but on all of caching. When I get the patent, I will then sue Apple for patent violation.
When it goes to court, I'll start by making my claim that I invented the concept of caching.
Apple will then stand up and claim that I am wrong because "anyone beyond a 1st year computer science student knows about the benefits of caching".
At that point, I will leap up over the court-room bench (like crazy people always seem to be able to do in Hollywood films), land on the Apple lawyer, and beat him to death with an iPhone while screaming, "OH YEAH??? THEN WHY THE HELL DOESN'T YOUR DAMN IPHONE DO ANY KIND OF REALISTIC CACHING, MOTHERF***ER!"
At that point, the police will arrest me. I will be tried for murder and sent to jail.
In jail as I am being painfully ass-raped without lube I will think to myself, "ah yes, this is so much more preferable than having to deal with that frustrating iPhone web browser."
What do you think?
-*the end*-
(Ok, I normally don't go for violent humor, or anal-sex-is-funny humor, or gay-sexual-assault-is-funny humor.. especially since I dislike violence and love anal sex... but I thought of the above while on the train the other day and couldn't resist sharing it)
Worst of all, the iPhone web browser basically doesn't cache anything. It caches the last 19 items that were less than 25k. TWENTY FIVE KILOBYES? That's less than half a megabyte (max) of objects so small they hardly matter. This thing has 8G of storage... even the Treo caches the last 8M of stuff!
Worst of all, when you go away from the web browser it forgets everything. I am used to pre-loading 5-6 web pages from my fast home connection then walking out the door to the train and even when I'm in tunnels I can switch among them. Heck, with an 8M cache I can basically pre-load enough reading for my entire train ride. Plus, the Treo lets me save "frozen" HTML pages so that I can come back to them even if I have no connectivity.
Plus, AT&T's network has terrible coverage compared to Verizon... which works in the NJ transit tunnels in and out of NYC (and soon... in the subways too!). I wasn't going to write about this because, well, it isn't Apple's fault. However, it dawned on me that since Apple gave AT&T a 5-year exclusive, it is completely valid to complain about it. Does nobody on the iPhone team ride BART or does AT&T have service down there? They should be forced to ride the NYC subway to see how bad it is.
It was so bad this morning that I came up with this plan....
I propose that I apply for a patent on the concept of caching. Not just caching web pages, but on all of caching. When I get the patent, I will then sue Apple for patent violation.
When it goes to court, I'll start by making my claim that I invented the concept of caching.
Apple will then stand up and claim that I am wrong because "anyone beyond a 1st year computer science student knows about the benefits of caching".
At that point, I will leap up over the court-room bench (like crazy people always seem to be able to do in Hollywood films), land on the Apple lawyer, and beat him to death with an iPhone while screaming, "OH YEAH??? THEN WHY THE HELL DOESN'T YOUR DAMN IPHONE DO ANY KIND OF REALISTIC CACHING, MOTHERF***ER!"
At that point, the police will arrest me. I will be tried for murder and sent to jail.
In jail as I am being painfully ass-raped without lube I will think to myself, "ah yes, this is so much more preferable than having to deal with that frustrating iPhone web browser."
What do you think?
-*the end*-
(Ok, I normally don't go for violent humor, or anal-sex-is-funny humor, or gay-sexual-assault-is-funny humor.. especially since I dislike violence and love anal sex... but I thought of the above while on the train the other day and couldn't resist sharing it)
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no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 05:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 11:36 pm (UTC)