Andy Borowitz has it right

August 12, 2004
GOP: KERRY WENT TO VIETNAM TO AVOID
SERVING IN ALABAMA NATIONAL GUARD
Guard-Dodging Charges Haunt Campaign

A new Republican-financed negative ad is accusing Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry of fleeing to Vietnam to avoid serving in the Alabama National Guard.

The ad, airing in most of the so-called battleground states, attempts to contrast Sen. Kerry’s alleged guard-dodging with the storied Alabama National Guard heroism of the Republican nominee, President George W. Bush.

In the ad, a narrator asks, “When the Alabama National Guard called young Americans to serve, where was John Kerry?  Thousands of miles away, in Vietnam.”

The 2004 Texas Republican Party Platform:

http://www.texasgop.org/library/RPTPlatform2004.pdfhttp:/www.texasgop.org/library/platform.php

The Republican Party of Texas affirms that the United States of America is a Christian nation, and the public acknowledgement of God is undeniable in our history. Our nation was founded on fundamental Judeo-Christian principles based on the Holy Bible. The Party affirms freedom of religion, and rejects efforts of courts and secular activists who seek to remove and deny such a rich heritage from our public lives.

Oh yeah, we want religious freedom as long as we can pick the religion! That’s freedom!

We call on the Legislature to end all state funding of higher educations grants and scholarships.

Ok but then how does this one connect...

Party believes theories of life origins and environmental theories should be taught only as theories not fact; that social studies and other curriculum should not be based on any one theory.

Oh, I see. We won’t go to college and therefore learn about evolution. I get it.

The Party calls upon the Texas Legislature and the United States Congress to repeal any and all laws that infringe upon the right of individual citizens to keep and bear arms as guaranteed by the 2nd Amendment to the United States Constitution; and to reject the establishment of any mechanism to process, license, record, register or monitor the ownership of guns.

The 2nd amendment also includes the phrase “well regulated”. What part of “WELL REGULATED” didn’t you understand? Oh, I forgot that Republicans skip quoting that party.

Rap against Bush

I posted a lot today and yesterday. Ignore it all. This is better than all of it put together: watch the video!