Need work-appropriate analogy

[yesthattom]

In trying to explain to someone that they were offering to solve a problem that I didn’t have, I nearly quoted Jay-Z’s song, “I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one”. Luckily I didn’t, because that would be wrong.

So... what’s an analogy that I could have used?

Comments

Here's the standard technique...

[happypete.livejournal.com]

http://www.thehumorarchives.com/joke/Shepherd_for_consultants

Re: Here's the standard technique...

[la-directora.livejournal.com]

That one never gets old. And I was a consultant for many years, so I know. :)

Re: Here's the standard technique...

[airshipjones.livejournal.com]

Seconded. I love that joke. And I did consluting for several years too.

You could have presented it as a graph...

[tgeller.livejournal.com]

From here.

Re: You could have presented it as a graph...

[dossy.livejournal.com]

+1. pwn.

Re: You could have presented it as a graph...

[yesthattom.livejournal.com]

You're all missing the point of trying not to use "bitch" in a work context.

Re: You could have presented it as a graph...

[dossy.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I didn't miss the point, I just thought the graph was awesome.

Re: You could have presented it as a graph...

[bored2sleep.livejournal.com]

You could preface it with "As my dog breeder once said..."

[jayeye.livejournal.com]

you listen to rap? eeewwwww

Why is an analogy necessary? What's wrong with "this is not a problem we have"?

[holzman.livejournal.com]

"You're offering to look at my watch and tell me what time it is."

[baerana.livejournal.com]

that's a good one and could be very fitting

[likethewatch.livejournal.com]

When you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

[mangosteen]

When all you have is a battle axe, everything looks like hours of fun.

[tactisle.livejournal.com]

Selling sand to a surfer?

[docstrange.livejournal.com]

"My car's on fire and you're offering to help change the tire."

[sweh.livejournal.com]

"You've got a solution in search of a problem.. and that problem ain't here"

[cpj.livejournal.com]

Giving a wheelchair to a perfectly able bodied individual?

No, I guess that isn't a good analogy, either.

[baerana.livejournal.com]

i'd have probably just said something like "thanks, but i've got that under control. however if you had a solution to these: (list 99 problems) I'd love to hear them." But I'm not funny or clever :)

iceboxes aren't quite to eskimos what ant poison is to aardvarks

[freiheit.livejournal.com]

Trying to sell a refrigerator to an eskimo.

Or "iceboxes", but that sounds old-fashioned now. Air conditioners or freezers could work there, too. Replace eskimos with Innuits, penguins or polar bears if you feel like it.

For a really terrible solution to a problem you don't have: Trying to sell ant poison to aardvarks.