Some jokes aren't as funny to people that haven't been through a divorce

This woman comes home and her husband is dressed in a Hawian shirt.
"Honey pack your bags! I won the lottery!", he says.
"Hawaii?", she replies.
"I don't care where you go. Just be out of here in the next hour!"

Frequent Flyer miles for a good cause

I have a lot of miles on United and I want to use them before they go out of business. A while back, I asked for comments about what I should do with the miles.

Today I used 50% of them to book a flight for a friend that I haven't seen in 10-11 years to be able to come to our college reunion. There's a special event to commemorate the 15th anniversary of a project that she helped start, and I was involved in. I'm really psyched!