I want to move to Idaho

[yesthattom]

Here’s my theory. It’s quite simple: Progressives have better sex than conservatives.

It’s an easy theory. I mean, heck, if you are roaming around the country saying, “sex is evil”, I’d rather fuck your political opponent. If conservatives advocating for n-1, then progressives must be doing n+1. (And ya gotta admit that n+1 is going to be more fun.)

So to really get my freak on, I wanna go to a place where the conservatives are having freaky sex. Raw, porn-star, freaky, make-bukkake-look-like-Sunday-school kind of sex. The progressives in that place are probably doing things that haven’t even been Googled for yet.

That’s why I’m going to Idaho.

Because in Idaho there’s a Senator Larry Craig who (1) votes against any gay bill, (2) is vehemently against same-sex marriage, (3) speaks around the country on the evils of gay sex. And this guy was just arrested by an undercover police officer who said Craig made a sexual advance toward him in an airport men’s room.

And the dude plead guilty.

AND THE DUDE PLEAD GUILTY.

Understand this: If the guy crusading against gay sex in Idaho is 62 years old and hunting for cock-juice in men’s bathrooms, the gay scene in that state has got to be a freakin’ 24x7 orgy.

I’m buying a plane ticket tonight. We’re gonna put the “ho” in Idaho.

Comments

[geeksdoitbetter.livejournal.com]

~snork~

[arkham1010.livejournal.com]

shit man, if its that great, i may even try bi!

[qwrrty.livejournal.com]

I'm totally with you. I'm all over this plan like straight guys on stale beer.

[mrfantasy.livejournal.com]

Kos said it well:

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2007/8/28/112114/632

"To me, it's pretty obvious that every conservative anti-gay extremist is gay. If you're not gay, you don't sit around obsessing over gay sex. If you sit around obsessing about gay sex, then you're gay. It's that simple.

If they came out of the closet once and for all, they'd be much happier and so would we."

[also-huey.livejournal.com]

You da ho!

[arkham1010.livejournal.com]

really I think he's pissed about gay marrage, because if gays get married, they are sitting in the airport waiting areas with their husbands, and not in the bathrooms cornholing old senators.

And then who's going to want him!

[cuddlebunni3.livejournal.com]

So apparently when I use the phrase "butt-fuck Idaho" to mean a place in the middle of nowhere, I was actually stating a fact... Interesting ~giggle~

[thespian.livejournal.com]

ftw.

[digamma.livejournal.com]

That's not what potatoes are for!

[babbage.livejournal.com]

Here's a counter-theory. Conservatives are dead against freaky sex because they have such bad luck when they actually try it - they're just envious! Take for example the famous example of Stephen Milligan (also here).

[wayward-va.livejournal.com]

I keep picturing him giving a news conference in his living room saying "I'm not gay. I mean, look at these curtains. Are these the curtains of a gay man? I think not."

*lol*

[baerana.livejournal.com]

I am so stealing this.

[slfisher.livejournal.com]

I live in Idaho. Technically, unmarried fornication is illegal here. There is some degree of a gay scene. The parade is pretty small.