(Not that we didn’t all know that Dilbert is reality already, but this strip made me laugh because it describes a real situation I experienced.
Where I work we have a coder that is very demanding that when we have a list of countries (or languages, or whatever) that we use the official ISO list and the ISO abbreviations. I’m ok with that, really. However whenever we have such a list we include the entire list... the entire list. So every drop-down list to choose language doesn’t just contain the languages that our customers use, but every language defined by the ISO. That includes Friulian.
Thus I bring you today’s Dilbert...
But wait, there’s more.
The list of languages includes dead languages. Since we use the official ISO descriptions, that means the pull-down list includes “Turkish, Ottoman (1500-1928)” and “Persian, Old (ca. 600-400 B.C.)” I imagine that any professionalism points we get from using the official ISO languages is reduced by how silly we must look by including languages that aren’t in use.
I also bet we lose professionalism points due to the fact that we let people list their preferred and second-choice language, but the text in the system is always English. Anything related to “language preference” is data we store in someone’s profile but never actually used. If we were to offer the ability to select what language the UI used it would be such a huge amount of work that adding a “language preference” to the user profile pages would seem small by comparison. But never fear, we’re collecting the data now so that we’re ready for something that will never happen.
Ironically the conformance to The God of ISO Completeness is violated... by him. The completeness is trumped by his politics. Somehow he got inserted into the requirements that the list would be augmented to include the Native American languages which were excluded from the ISO language list due to U.S. politics. I suppose he’s right about the politics of exclusion, but we’re in the mobile phone industry, and this system is mostly used by European mobile phone companies; I doubt any of them care or hold influence over whether or not the U.N. includes Cherokee in the next revision of the ISO language list.
There are other problems and unexpected side-effects.
Since the list is in a database, there is an extra database query for every page that lists one of these drop down selectors. I’m sure this contributes to our database load in unexpected ways. My proposal to generate that menu once a day was rejected because I’m not in development and I shouldn’t be telling them how to write code. Dare I point out that the UI is a bit unwieldy due to the size of the list?
Here’s the best part: The code he wrote breaks when you take advantage of his meticulously crafted list! A few months ago a system upgrade died and the root cause was that everything went to hell if someone’s profile listed their “preferred language” to be ZuXi. (The “X” is some Unicode character that I don’t know how to enter properly, so I won’t even try.) It turns out that having Unicode characters in that field broke other bits of code, all of which is stuff that he wrote. Someone had to hand-edit that profile to remove the Unicode chars before the upgrade would complete successfully.
Who set that in their profile? Me, of course. And don’t you dare insult me and my ZuXi brothers and sisters by telling me I can’t set it in my profile. It’s in the list, I should be able to use it.
[Extra credit for database people: Extra points if you see the other technical error being made. Double extra points if you properly use the term “third normal form”.]
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