Review: Superman Returns
Jul. 2nd, 2006 07:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yesthattomI can't believe the slowness of the people at the food counter. This is completely unacceptable.
...wait... let me start this review over.
Superman Returns was a disappointment. The audio was completely screwed up for the first fifteen minutes. It sounded like the left audio channel was occasionally going at the wrong speed while the right channel was fine. Then once that was fixed there were new problems with the audio. In particular, whoever mixed the audio seemed to have two babies in the mixing booth while he was working on the film and their crying bleed onto the soundtrack. And his cell phone kept going off. Oh wait, that may have just been the audience in MY theater.
...let me start this review over...
Superman Returns is Pixar's best production yet. You could hardly tell that the entire film was computer generated. In a daring risk, the director decided to make an entire film about the lead-up to Superman returning. I guess he'll return in the sequel. Meanwhile the film was about talking cars who...
...wait... let me start his review over...
Ok, here we go. Superman Returns. I was freakin' appalled. With all the advances in computer animation in the last 25 years why weren't we able to have Christopher Reeve playing Superman? He's the only real Superman (except his dad, George Reeves, who played the one on TV). Sure, I know Christopher Reeve is technically dead, but so is Danny Devito and he keeps making appearances all over. Heck, Devito's got a new TV show on TBS! But seriously, what's my real problem with the new guy playing Superman? He's sooo straight! This movie should have been called SuperHeterosexualMan. Bring back Gay Superman! I mean Christopher Reeves wasn't just cute in the old Superman movies, he was clean-cut-cute-gay-gay-1970's-porn-gay-cute! I mean, in the 1980's if you were too embarrassed to go into a video store and rent a gay porn flick you could just rent Superman, Superman II: Deathtrap, Superman III: Monsignor, or any of his other films where he plays a super-hot-cute-gayboy-sexy-sexy-awesome-hotness. Did I mention he was teh hot cuteness!?!?!?!!!11!!one!!11!!
Now this new guy is ok, but he's not Gay Superman. I had to actually pay attention to the plot. Which seemed to be about some guy that could fly and didn't like green rocks. Or bald guys. Or something. Nice tights.
Meh.
...wait... let me start this review over.
Superman Returns was a disappointment. The audio was completely screwed up for the first fifteen minutes. It sounded like the left audio channel was occasionally going at the wrong speed while the right channel was fine. Then once that was fixed there were new problems with the audio. In particular, whoever mixed the audio seemed to have two babies in the mixing booth while he was working on the film and their crying bleed onto the soundtrack. And his cell phone kept going off. Oh wait, that may have just been the audience in MY theater.
...let me start this review over...
Superman Returns is Pixar's best production yet. You could hardly tell that the entire film was computer generated. In a daring risk, the director decided to make an entire film about the lead-up to Superman returning. I guess he'll return in the sequel. Meanwhile the film was about talking cars who...
...wait... let me start his review over...
Ok, here we go. Superman Returns. I was freakin' appalled. With all the advances in computer animation in the last 25 years why weren't we able to have Christopher Reeve playing Superman? He's the only real Superman (except his dad, George Reeves, who played the one on TV). Sure, I know Christopher Reeve is technically dead, but so is Danny Devito and he keeps making appearances all over. Heck, Devito's got a new TV show on TBS! But seriously, what's my real problem with the new guy playing Superman? He's sooo straight! This movie should have been called SuperHeterosexualMan. Bring back Gay Superman! I mean Christopher Reeves wasn't just cute in the old Superman movies, he was clean-cut-cute-gay-gay-1970's-porn-gay-cute! I mean, in the 1980's if you were too embarrassed to go into a video store and rent a gay porn flick you could just rent Superman, Superman II: Deathtrap, Superman III: Monsignor, or any of his other films where he plays a super-hot-cute-gayboy-sexy-sexy-awesome-hotness. Did I mention he was teh hot cuteness!?!?!?!!!11!!one!!11!!
Now this new guy is ok, but he's not Gay Superman. I had to actually pay attention to the plot. Which seemed to be about some guy that could fly and didn't like green rocks. Or bald guys. Or something. Nice tights.
Meh.
